Challenges

Its been a little while since I posted here last. Im still not working yet. Though I am working on putting together a computer and internet business.

Right now, Im the chief cook and bottle washer at home. I take care of my daughter that is in Kidergarten. But Kindergarten at public school is only from 12:45 to 3:45. So I take care of her the rest of the time. I also have another kid that came along. His mom needed someone to take care of his as well. So I said I would.

Not sure what I was thiniking when I said that. Im not that much of a kid person anymore. Cept for my own of course. I find that I dont have the patience to handle them both. I even get short with my own at times. But its a little income right now and something to do.

Im looking forward to Boise Bible College in the fall. Though this is still very scary to me. The thought of being in a classroom setting every day, all day, with so many strangers is scary to me. Im hoping that the fact that most, if not all of them, will be much younger than me will help. Since I am older, this will give me a feeliing of superiority. Of course, I am no where near superiour. But since Im an avoidant, I need some sort of advantage.



This is my log of my day to day issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also srtuggling with this disorder or another like it. http://www.AvoidantPersonality.com

Well, at least my thick head helps me not get hurt

When I was laid off last month, my wife and I had to make some descisions. I think that every time a life changing event like this happens, we need to stop, think and pray about it. There may be a very good reason why it happend. If we just react to it and dont stop to try to figure out why it happend, the same thing may happen again. And then again and again.

At least this is the way it has been in my life.

After I got laid off, I thought to myself....Déjà vu!!! This same pattern has happend in my life way too many times to be a coincidence or just bad luck. I have had countless jobs in my lifetime. Every time I get a job, it seems to be going pretty well. Then, out of nowhere, something happens.

In this last job, I was laid off after being with them for 2 years. Now you might think that things like this just happen. Businesses fall into financial problems and they have to lay fols off. Well, if this was an isolated incident, thats what I would think as well.

But Ive seen this pattern over and over and over in my life. Want a few examlpes? I managed a movie rental store called "Movie Gallery" for a while. All went well for several months. Then all the sudden, the corporate office decided that they wanted our store to rent some porn. They were going to have me set up our back room for it. I refused to let the stuff in the store, much less rent it. We were after all a family store, which saw lots and lots of kids. Long story short, they fired for my stand against porn.

I worked at HP for about 2 years. In fact, it was the job that God gave me when I left Texas to move to Idaho and marry my wonderful wife. I was laid off when HP started outsourcing Tech work to India.

I could go on and on with such examples from my life. Some might say that all these jobs ended from circumstances that just happened. Others might say that I should have got the message a long time ago. After all, Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over again expecting diferent results was the definition of insanity.

So after all these years, I finally woke up and smelled the perverbial roses. Or perhaps it was my loving wife that had to shove them up to my nose.

I think of stories in the Bible where a group of people was made to suffer because God's servent would not do what he was told. Remember that story of Jonah and the whale? The poor folks on that boat were about to die because Jonah was not doing what he was supposed to. There are other stories like this one as well. Stories where people were caused trouble to encourage a servent of God to do the right thing.

I feel like that.

Many years ago, God called me into the ministry. I severed for a while, then left it. Every since I left, Ive had lots and lots of trouble. Well,. I finally got the message and Im going to be attending Boise Bible College in the fall. After I graduate, I will go on to serve as a Pastor or in ministry in whatver capacity God calls me to.

As an Avoidant, I am scared. It will be the toughest challenge I have ever faced. The 1st obstatcle though is money. Since Im not working, I need to have all of school paid for.

Stay Tuned.



This is my log of my day to day issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also srtuggling with this disorder or another like it.

http://www.AvoidantPersonality.com