The tittle of the blog today is; "Thank you sir can I have another".
If you have ever seen old movies of kids in school, back when teachers were allowed to spank kids, you would see this kid bent over the teachers desk and the teacher with this big wooden board. The kid refused to give in to the teacher with cries of pain when he or she was spanked. So each time the teacher spanked the child, they would say; "Thank you Sir, may I have another?"
This is how I feel my life so far this year has been.
It has been a very hard year for me and my family. I will try to sum up without getting you and me too down. My wife had an issue in January. It was perforated Diverticulitis. basically it was a whole in her colon. She was in an out of the hospital for a few months.
Finally in April the doctors gave up on it closing on its own and she had surgery. She recovered, but we did not. My wife, just a couple weeks ago, asked for a divorce. it is pretty hard to say how much of this was due to the Avoidant and how much was due to other things. We dont get along. We never have. We have had spurts of peace, but mostly we fight. Little things mostly, which is not a good sign. When you fight all the time over little piddly things, what would happen if something really big came along?
The fighting was taking a huge toll on our little girl. At some point, we had to decide what was the kindest, most loving thing to do. I know it sounds weird, but in the end, it is best to the sake of us all. We are separated now, but still under the same roof. We decided that this was the best solution too. At least for now.
This way, our daughter can be with us both. The good part is that we are all still friends. Well, enough of that. I also lost my job after 8 years. So as of Friday, I am unemployed. Its been quite a year like I said. But I think its best. Not the loosing my job part.
My mission has always been to let people know about AvPD and try to help them. To try to unite a very tuff group to unite. To that end, I started a group on this place called MeetUps.
I love these meet ups and I am working on making a few of them. Hiking and Biking mostly. I also started this meet up for Avoidants. My wife (Or whatever I should be calling her these days) says its an axi-moron. In case you dont get that, the group is all about meeting people and Avoidants hate meeting people.
Anyway, if anyone reading this is interested in joining the group, please do so. Given the nature of Avoidants, I will probably try to arrange a virtual meeting of some sort. Maybe a chat room or something like that. In the meantime, its all good. I am excited about the future. Its scary, but change often is when we dont know what to expect.
I hate the idea of being alone, so I am grateful for this time that my (wife, Ex, whatever) is staying under the same roof as me. We are in separate bedrooms in case anyone is wondering. Well, I cant write too much more right now. I need to go.
As my life turns
Phillip
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
