It has been a while since I have written anything here. Life is a lot better now than it used to be. While I wont say that I am 100% healed from Avpd, I will say that I am most of the way there. Probably 80 to 90% healed. I get asked all the time why I am not healed 100%.
When I first got asked that question, I had to stop and think. After all, cant God heal us completely? We say this all the time in our Churches, right?
In fact, Im sure that you are heard it said as well. It seems to be a pretty common "Get out of jail free card" that is often heard in Church. "What, you have ___ (Fill in the blank with any illness), but you are not being healed. You must be in sin, not have enough Faith, or there is some other reason why God has chosen not to heal you."
To this I say Poppy Cock. There are lots and lots of people in this world that do not get healing. Why is just one of those things we dont know. But that by no way necessarily means we dont have the faith, or there is sin or whatever.
Im my case, God told me that he was not going to heal me completely. Why? Well, if you ever read the story of Paul, you will see my story in there as well. I asked God several times to heal me and each time, He said that his grace is sufficient for me. Now what in the world does that mean?
In our lingo, it just means that God is not going to heal me completely because I would get a big head about it. Often in our lives, when we get a lot of money, or relief from whatever, we decide that we dont need God anymore. Its a common problem that affects many of us. When we are poor, or in some other need, we cry out to God.
But once those needs are met, all the sudden, God takes a back seat, if he is even that close. More often than not, we completely forget about God. This is the biggest reason why God allows us to stay in need.
Avpd is the "thorn in my side" that God is not going to fully remove so that I stay close to him and will always know that God is where my strength comes from.
I have 2 things to say today. Dont Give Up! In fact this is the main message of my entire life and the biggest one that I want to drive home. No matter how bad things may look, do not give up. Help is on the way. God often does not seem to show up when we want him too. God lives outside of time. We, on the other hand, or bound to time. So maybe the reason why it takes time for help to get to us from God is due to the time zone difference.
2nd. Just because you have not yet been healed, or healed completely, dont let this get you down. God has a reason for this. Maybe it is so that you can help others. It is often said and true, that the best way to forget about your own problems is to help others.
Have a great day
Phillip
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
