Hi everyone,
A Normal is someone anyone that is not an Avoidant. If you fall into this category, there is help for you as well. My wife is a Normal and she has been married to someone that has Avpd for 15 years now.
She has a wealth of experience and wisdom to share with anyone that is on that same path. She will answer any and all questions either on the air, by email, or both. Just let us know which you prefer.
Our next podcast 11/12/17 will focus on Normals that are trying to be in a relationship with someone that has, or your suspect has, Avpd.
Sign up now!
Before the podcast, please take our short survey.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/2V9PP7K
Phillip Dacus
Avoidant Personality
Thursday, November 2, 2017
Saturday, October 28, 2017
How to start on the journey to heaing your Avpd podcast
Hi everyone,
The next podcast will be tomorrow at noon MT 10/29/17.
I encourage everyone to make the class live so you can take advantage of our live chat room and calling in if you wish to do so. We respect your privacy, so you can also just hang out and listen. You can also send us an email with any questions that you have and request they be addressed on the air, or respond vie email.
Here is the call in number. (929) 477-3305
Here is the link to get to the podcast. http://tobtr.com/s/10360945
If you are not able to make it live, never fear. The podcast will be available on my web site a day or two after Sunday. Avoidants.org
As always, if you have any questions for me, you can email them to Phillip@Avoidants.org. Please let me know in your email if you want mt to answer your question live in the podcast.
Phillip Dacus
Organizer, host and teacher
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
The next podcast will be tomorrow at noon MT 10/29/17.
I encourage everyone to make the class live so you can take advantage of our live chat room and calling in if you wish to do so. We respect your privacy, so you can also just hang out and listen. You can also send us an email with any questions that you have and request they be addressed on the air, or respond vie email.
Here is the call in number. (929) 477-3305
Here is the link to get to the podcast. http://tobtr.com/s/10360945
If you are not able to make it live, never fear. The podcast will be available on my web site a day or two after Sunday. Avoidants.org
As always, if you have any questions for me, you can email them to Phillip@Avoidants.org. Please let me know in your email if you want mt to answer your question live in the podcast.
Phillip Dacus
Organizer, host and teacher
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Avpd Lives matter too!
There has been a lot of news stories and such on Black Lives Matter. I even saw one that said, White Lives Matter. In fact, I think this started a trend of many others as well.
Well, this got me to thinking about, you guessed it, those with Avoidant Personality (Avpd). Avpd is my passion. That sounds a bit weird now that I hear myself say it.
I receive emails from people all over the world that have Avpd and from "Normals". Normals are what I call those that do not have Avpd. These Normals want to be in a relationship with someone that has Avpd. All of the stories and their questions are pretty much the same.
They have fallen in love with someone that has Avpd, the Normal pursued the one with Avpd, which caused the one with Avpd to run, or want to run away. You see, in a normal relationship, when you love someone, you tell them, right?
Well, if that someone has Avpd, you can't just blurt that out, or be aggressive in your pursuit of them. That will trigger the fight or flight response in the one that has Avpd.
When the one with Avpd backs away, the Normal thinks they did something wrong, or the person with Avpd does not love them back. Even if the one with Avpd spouted feelings of Love before.
Because the Normal now feels rejected, (Yes, even Normals feel rejection!), they decide to sever the relationship.
This is a very common scenario that I hear over and over and over. Now don't get me wrong. I am not complaining in the least. I love helping people. Especially those that have Avpd and Normals that love us.
People that have Avpd are like a computer with 2 opposing sets of instructions. 1 instructions tell them to love the Normal. The other tells them to hate the Normal, or at least avoid them because the Normal might hurt them. These 2 instructions are in direct conflict with each other. Its not possible for the computer to complete both instructions. It is just not possible to love someone and hate them at the very same time.
So what happens is that the computer develops a Psychosis like the computer Hal from 2001 the Space Odyssey. In the movie, Hal was given 2 order in direct conflict with each other. The result was that the computer malfunctioned and did some crazy things that resulted in it breaking down completely.
Those with Avpd can be seen in much the same way. On the one hand, this person wants to love the Normal. On the other, this person wants to hate the Normal because they fear they might hurt them. Its just not possible for them to do both, so the result is a breakdown and they end up running away in fear.
The trick is not to scare the one with Avpd. I know this makes those with Avpd sound like its not worth the bother. But think of someone with Avpd like they have Cancer or some other physical ailment. If this person you love had Cancer, what would you do?
If the answer to that is that you would run away, then you, and the person you love is probably better off that you do just that.
Or if they had Cancer, would you love him or her anyway and have compassion and understanding for them and walk on eggshells (Go Overboard) to not frighten them or hurt them. If you would do that for him if he, or she, had Cancer, then why not this?
There is no difference. Someone with Avpd deserves that very same love and understanding as someone that has Cancer, or any other physical ailment.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Well, this got me to thinking about, you guessed it, those with Avoidant Personality (Avpd). Avpd is my passion. That sounds a bit weird now that I hear myself say it.
I receive emails from people all over the world that have Avpd and from "Normals". Normals are what I call those that do not have Avpd. These Normals want to be in a relationship with someone that has Avpd. All of the stories and their questions are pretty much the same.
They have fallen in love with someone that has Avpd, the Normal pursued the one with Avpd, which caused the one with Avpd to run, or want to run away. You see, in a normal relationship, when you love someone, you tell them, right?
Well, if that someone has Avpd, you can't just blurt that out, or be aggressive in your pursuit of them. That will trigger the fight or flight response in the one that has Avpd.
When the one with Avpd backs away, the Normal thinks they did something wrong, or the person with Avpd does not love them back. Even if the one with Avpd spouted feelings of Love before.
Because the Normal now feels rejected, (Yes, even Normals feel rejection!), they decide to sever the relationship.
This is a very common scenario that I hear over and over and over. Now don't get me wrong. I am not complaining in the least. I love helping people. Especially those that have Avpd and Normals that love us.
People that have Avpd are like a computer with 2 opposing sets of instructions. 1 instructions tell them to love the Normal. The other tells them to hate the Normal, or at least avoid them because the Normal might hurt them. These 2 instructions are in direct conflict with each other. Its not possible for the computer to complete both instructions. It is just not possible to love someone and hate them at the very same time.
So what happens is that the computer develops a Psychosis like the computer Hal from 2001 the Space Odyssey. In the movie, Hal was given 2 order in direct conflict with each other. The result was that the computer malfunctioned and did some crazy things that resulted in it breaking down completely.
Those with Avpd can be seen in much the same way. On the one hand, this person wants to love the Normal. On the other, this person wants to hate the Normal because they fear they might hurt them. Its just not possible for them to do both, so the result is a breakdown and they end up running away in fear.
The trick is not to scare the one with Avpd. I know this makes those with Avpd sound like its not worth the bother. But think of someone with Avpd like they have Cancer or some other physical ailment. If this person you love had Cancer, what would you do?
If the answer to that is that you would run away, then you, and the person you love is probably better off that you do just that.
Or if they had Cancer, would you love him or her anyway and have compassion and understanding for them and walk on eggshells (Go Overboard) to not frighten them or hurt them. If you would do that for him if he, or she, had Cancer, then why not this?
There is no difference. Someone with Avpd deserves that very same love and understanding as someone that has Cancer, or any other physical ailment.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Friday, April 14, 2017
How I have been able to cope with Avpd
How I cope with Avoidant Personality (Avpd)
My name is Phillip Dacus. I was born with Avoidant Personality (Avpd), as everyone that suffers from it is. Avpd is a disease. Like physical diseases, it can lie dormant in the body for years. Typically, Avpd does not rear its ugly head until the late teens or early adulthood. Everyone is different though, so different people have different stories as to when and how it started. Click here to read about these differences.
I have been working with others that have Avpd and similar disorders for 10 years. I get emails from people all over the world. Mostly I am contacted by what I call Normals that are trying to be in a relationship with someone that they know, or suspect, has Avpd.
The most common question I get is how did I overcome Avpd.
Before I start, I need to tell you that there is just no way that I can post my entire story here. It would require a book to tell you everything that I have gone through over the course of the last 40 years. By the way, this is exactly what I am in the process of doing. I hope to soon have my book ready. I am also working on some on-line classes that you can take.
What I will give you here is an overview of my story. I will go into detail on all this in my classes and book.
Though I did not know it at the time, I was born with Avpd. It is funny how clear things become in hindsight. I probably got my Avpd from my mom, which is typical. Avpd is usually handed down genetically from a family member. I have 2 brothers. One of them, though not diagnosed with Avpd, almost surely has it too.
I had a pretty typical childhood, though I cant remember most of it. I had Epilepsy as a child, so it was probably the Epilepsy that resulted in the memory loss. The 1st time I noticed the start of my Avpd was in High School, which was my mid to late teens. As a male, I never liked the normal things a guy should like. I hated working on cars, I did not like girls (though in secret I did, they just scared me so I avoided them), and I did not like sports. So I was accused of being gay.
My way of dealing with this lie was to hide. I was a hermit in high school. A few years after getting out of school, I went into the Air Force. I got stationed in England, which is what I wanted. I was so terrified of girls that I would get physically ill when anywhere close to them. This led me to being a hermit in the military as well. While in the Air Force, I went to see a psychiatrist for help with my fears. They tested me and officially diagnosed me with Avpd.
There was a very traumatic event that happened while I was in the military that greatly exacerbated my Avpd. In fact, I would say that it put it into overdrive. I dont have the room to go into my story here, but will address this in detail in my book and in my classes.
To make a long story short, I struggled for many years after the military with my Avpd. God brought a lady (now my wife Rebecca) into my life. We met over the phone, which in my case, was the only way it could have worked. I lived in Texas at the time, which is where I was born. Rebecca and I hit it off, so she flew down to Texas to pick me up and we drove back together. We got married 15 years ago.
I treated my wife very badly for the 1st 13 years of our marriage. I will give you an example of just how much of a jerk I was. My wife was pregnant at the time. We were driving in the car and had a bad fight. I pulled over and made her get out of the car and walk home.
The only reason why my wife stayed is because God told her to. During these years, I did a lot of writing in a blog that I created. I found writing to be very good therapy. If you want to read my blog, here is the link to it.
There are a lot of other things that added up to my healing. Things like;
Admitting I had a problem
Understanding myself
My wife understanding me
Identifying traps
Exposure Therapy
Finding truth
Not giving up
Reading, taking classes and understanding how Avpd works
Nutrition
A great understanding and patient wife
Teaching others
Reading the Bible and letting God work on me through His word
Prayer
Admitting I had a problem
Just like with Alcoholics, Drug Addicts, or anything else like this, the 1st step in the healing process is to admit that you have a problem. I can be pretty stubborn at times. Just ask my wife. As humans, we dont like to admit that we are flawed and Avpd is a pretty huge flaw. Avpd is very tough because as someone with Avpd I already thought that I was horrible and worthless. For someone that is "Normal" to try to tell them that they have a problem is something they wont want to hear. In fact, if not done carefully, it will do a lot more harm than good.
Understanding
I had to understand myself 1st. I had swallowed the lies hook line and sinker. One of these lies is that I was the only defective person in the universe. I was all alone and therefore, not worth fixing because I was the only one like this.
My wife Understanding me
My wife needed to come to a place where she understood me and had empathy for me. When we 1st got married, my wife had no clue about Avpd. She would tell me all the time to "Just Get over it". Once she understood Avpd, she realized that this was not possible. She became very patient with me, kind and understanding.
Identifying Traps
There are many traps and behaviors that I had to identify. Key triggers that set off Avpd behaviors. These needed to be identified, and once identified, avoided.
Exposure therapy
One of the things that scared me was going to the mall. I felt overwhelmed and helpless. These fears needed to be faced and the anxiety dealt with.
Finding truth
One of the biggest issues that I faced with Avpd was undoing the lies that I had accepted as truth. For example, one of these lies is that you are all alone. The truth is that Avpd is a disorder that effects millions of people all over the world.
Never Giving Up
My journey with Avpd took me 50 years to complete. While it is very possible to complete the journey sooner and find that healing quicker, there is no magic pill for healing Avpd. Im not going to blow smoke by telling you that you can be free of Avpd tomorrow. It is possible, but more often than not it requires a lot of work over a long period of time. The key here is to be patient and never give up!
Reading..Taking Classes and Understanding How Avpd Works
I have read a lot about Avpd. I have taken a lot of classes on Avpd, depression and similar disorders.
Nutrition
This may seem like a small thing, but it is fact one of the biggeest. Getting proper nutrition is a key element to healing. Your body is just like a cars engine. Your cars engine requires oil, which is its lubrication. Without this lubrication, your car will quit running. Put in good quality oil and changing it on a regular basis will keep your car running smoothly and efficiently. The same with your body, mind, and Spirit. Proper nutrition is needed in order for them to work properly. Garbage in, garbage out.
If you eat nothing but junk, your body, mind and Spirit will suffer and may even quit on you.
A Great Understanding Partner
As I pointed out above, finding a partner that understands Avpd, or at least tries hard, is critical. I listed this twice because it is so very important. If you are a Normal in a relationship with someone that has Avpd, or you suspect has Avpd, you need to start right now working on learning as much as you can about Avpd and how to deal with your partner that has it.
Teaching Others
The old saying is that the best way to figure something out is to start teaching others. When I started helping others, I learned a lot about healing up the things in my life that still needed some attention.
Reading the Bible, and Letting God Work On Me Through His Word
Please make note here that I did not say anything about going to Church. Few, if any, Churches know how to deal with mental disorders. It is not there fault, it is just not something that Church leadership has not been taught. The Church does a great job at helping with healing physical things like Back issues, Cancer, and other ailments like this, but when it comes to the mind, the Church seems lost.
I put this toward the bottom of this list intentionally. In reality, it is the most important step, but I dont want anyone to not start the healing process because they do not believe in God.
Prayer
Again, I listed this one at the bottom of this list on purpose. Prayer is critical in the healing process. It would be like having a Ford Expedition, but refusing to talk to Ford about the malfunction in your car because you don't believe the Ford Motor Company exists.
Even someone that does not like Ford would take their Expedition to a place that works on Fords to get it fixed. Same with God. Even if you do not believe in God, let God help you. You are His child. He is not going to turn you away just because you don't believe in him, or even like him. This does not mean that you have to sign on the dotted line committing to going to Church every Sunday. Just talk to God and ask God for help.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. If you want to know more, you are going to have to wait until my classes or my book is done. But in the meantime, you are more than welcome to write to me with questions.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
My name is Phillip Dacus. I was born with Avoidant Personality (Avpd), as everyone that suffers from it is. Avpd is a disease. Like physical diseases, it can lie dormant in the body for years. Typically, Avpd does not rear its ugly head until the late teens or early adulthood. Everyone is different though, so different people have different stories as to when and how it started. Click here to read about these differences.
I have been working with others that have Avpd and similar disorders for 10 years. I get emails from people all over the world. Mostly I am contacted by what I call Normals that are trying to be in a relationship with someone that they know, or suspect, has Avpd.
The most common question I get is how did I overcome Avpd.
Before I start, I need to tell you that there is just no way that I can post my entire story here. It would require a book to tell you everything that I have gone through over the course of the last 40 years. By the way, this is exactly what I am in the process of doing. I hope to soon have my book ready. I am also working on some on-line classes that you can take.
What I will give you here is an overview of my story. I will go into detail on all this in my classes and book.
Though I did not know it at the time, I was born with Avpd. It is funny how clear things become in hindsight. I probably got my Avpd from my mom, which is typical. Avpd is usually handed down genetically from a family member. I have 2 brothers. One of them, though not diagnosed with Avpd, almost surely has it too.
I had a pretty typical childhood, though I cant remember most of it. I had Epilepsy as a child, so it was probably the Epilepsy that resulted in the memory loss. The 1st time I noticed the start of my Avpd was in High School, which was my mid to late teens. As a male, I never liked the normal things a guy should like. I hated working on cars, I did not like girls (though in secret I did, they just scared me so I avoided them), and I did not like sports. So I was accused of being gay.
My way of dealing with this lie was to hide. I was a hermit in high school. A few years after getting out of school, I went into the Air Force. I got stationed in England, which is what I wanted. I was so terrified of girls that I would get physically ill when anywhere close to them. This led me to being a hermit in the military as well. While in the Air Force, I went to see a psychiatrist for help with my fears. They tested me and officially diagnosed me with Avpd.
There was a very traumatic event that happened while I was in the military that greatly exacerbated my Avpd. In fact, I would say that it put it into overdrive. I dont have the room to go into my story here, but will address this in detail in my book and in my classes.
To make a long story short, I struggled for many years after the military with my Avpd. God brought a lady (now my wife Rebecca) into my life. We met over the phone, which in my case, was the only way it could have worked. I lived in Texas at the time, which is where I was born. Rebecca and I hit it off, so she flew down to Texas to pick me up and we drove back together. We got married 15 years ago.
I treated my wife very badly for the 1st 13 years of our marriage. I will give you an example of just how much of a jerk I was. My wife was pregnant at the time. We were driving in the car and had a bad fight. I pulled over and made her get out of the car and walk home.
The only reason why my wife stayed is because God told her to. During these years, I did a lot of writing in a blog that I created. I found writing to be very good therapy. If you want to read my blog, here is the link to it.
There are a lot of other things that added up to my healing. Things like;
Admitting I had a problem
Understanding myself
My wife understanding me
Identifying traps
Exposure Therapy
Finding truth
Not giving up
Reading, taking classes and understanding how Avpd works
Nutrition
A great understanding and patient wife
Teaching others
Reading the Bible and letting God work on me through His word
Prayer
Admitting I had a problem
Just like with Alcoholics, Drug Addicts, or anything else like this, the 1st step in the healing process is to admit that you have a problem. I can be pretty stubborn at times. Just ask my wife. As humans, we dont like to admit that we are flawed and Avpd is a pretty huge flaw. Avpd is very tough because as someone with Avpd I already thought that I was horrible and worthless. For someone that is "Normal" to try to tell them that they have a problem is something they wont want to hear. In fact, if not done carefully, it will do a lot more harm than good.
Understanding
I had to understand myself 1st. I had swallowed the lies hook line and sinker. One of these lies is that I was the only defective person in the universe. I was all alone and therefore, not worth fixing because I was the only one like this.
My wife Understanding me
My wife needed to come to a place where she understood me and had empathy for me. When we 1st got married, my wife had no clue about Avpd. She would tell me all the time to "Just Get over it". Once she understood Avpd, she realized that this was not possible. She became very patient with me, kind and understanding.
Identifying Traps
There are many traps and behaviors that I had to identify. Key triggers that set off Avpd behaviors. These needed to be identified, and once identified, avoided.
Exposure therapy
One of the things that scared me was going to the mall. I felt overwhelmed and helpless. These fears needed to be faced and the anxiety dealt with.
Finding truth
One of the biggest issues that I faced with Avpd was undoing the lies that I had accepted as truth. For example, one of these lies is that you are all alone. The truth is that Avpd is a disorder that effects millions of people all over the world.
Never Giving Up
My journey with Avpd took me 50 years to complete. While it is very possible to complete the journey sooner and find that healing quicker, there is no magic pill for healing Avpd. Im not going to blow smoke by telling you that you can be free of Avpd tomorrow. It is possible, but more often than not it requires a lot of work over a long period of time. The key here is to be patient and never give up!
Reading..Taking Classes and Understanding How Avpd Works
I have read a lot about Avpd. I have taken a lot of classes on Avpd, depression and similar disorders.
Nutrition
This may seem like a small thing, but it is fact one of the biggeest. Getting proper nutrition is a key element to healing. Your body is just like a cars engine. Your cars engine requires oil, which is its lubrication. Without this lubrication, your car will quit running. Put in good quality oil and changing it on a regular basis will keep your car running smoothly and efficiently. The same with your body, mind, and Spirit. Proper nutrition is needed in order for them to work properly. Garbage in, garbage out.
If you eat nothing but junk, your body, mind and Spirit will suffer and may even quit on you.
A Great Understanding Partner
As I pointed out above, finding a partner that understands Avpd, or at least tries hard, is critical. I listed this twice because it is so very important. If you are a Normal in a relationship with someone that has Avpd, or you suspect has Avpd, you need to start right now working on learning as much as you can about Avpd and how to deal with your partner that has it.
Teaching Others
The old saying is that the best way to figure something out is to start teaching others. When I started helping others, I learned a lot about healing up the things in my life that still needed some attention.
Reading the Bible, and Letting God Work On Me Through His Word
Please make note here that I did not say anything about going to Church. Few, if any, Churches know how to deal with mental disorders. It is not there fault, it is just not something that Church leadership has not been taught. The Church does a great job at helping with healing physical things like Back issues, Cancer, and other ailments like this, but when it comes to the mind, the Church seems lost.
I put this toward the bottom of this list intentionally. In reality, it is the most important step, but I dont want anyone to not start the healing process because they do not believe in God.
Prayer
Again, I listed this one at the bottom of this list on purpose. Prayer is critical in the healing process. It would be like having a Ford Expedition, but refusing to talk to Ford about the malfunction in your car because you don't believe the Ford Motor Company exists.
Even someone that does not like Ford would take their Expedition to a place that works on Fords to get it fixed. Same with God. Even if you do not believe in God, let God help you. You are His child. He is not going to turn you away just because you don't believe in him, or even like him. This does not mean that you have to sign on the dotted line committing to going to Church every Sunday. Just talk to God and ask God for help.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. If you want to know more, you are going to have to wait until my classes or my book is done. But in the meantime, you are more than welcome to write to me with questions.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Helping others with Avpd and Normals that are trying to be in a relatoinship with someone with Avd
I am working hard on developing classes for those with Avpd and similar disorders. The class will also be for those that are trying to be in a relationship with someone that has Avpd or similar. I hope to have these up and running soon.
I am also working on a book as well that I hope to have up by the end of the year. There are sooo many of you out there that have Avpd, think you have have Avpd, or you are trying desperately to be in a relationship with someone that has Avpd. The main thing I want to say to all of you out there is Never Give up!
I know its hard. I wanted to give up many a time myself. But if I had given up, I would not be in a place now where I can help others find hope and healing from Avpd. And I would not now have a successful marriage and a thriving daughter. So please stay tuned, I wil have more soon.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
I am also working on a book as well that I hope to have up by the end of the year. There are sooo many of you out there that have Avpd, think you have have Avpd, or you are trying desperately to be in a relationship with someone that has Avpd. The main thing I want to say to all of you out there is Never Give up!
I know its hard. I wanted to give up many a time myself. But if I had given up, I would not be in a place now where I can help others find hope and healing from Avpd. And I would not now have a successful marriage and a thriving daughter. So please stay tuned, I wil have more soon.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Monday, March 6, 2017
Help is on the way
It has been a while since I have written anything here. Life is a lot better now than it used to be. While I wont say that I am 100% healed from Avpd, I will say that I am most of the way there. Probably 80 to 90% healed. I get asked all the time why I am not healed 100%.
When I first got asked that question, I had to stop and think. After all, cant God heal us completely? We say this all the time in our Churches, right?
In fact, Im sure that you are heard it said as well. It seems to be a pretty common "Get out of jail free card" that is often heard in Church. "What, you have ___ (Fill in the blank with any illness), but you are not being healed. You must be in sin, not have enough Faith, or there is some other reason why God has chosen not to heal you."
To this I say Poppy Cock. There are lots and lots of people in this world that do not get healing. Why is just one of those things we dont know. But that by no way necessarily means we dont have the faith, or there is sin or whatever.
Im my case, God told me that he was not going to heal me completely. Why? Well, if you ever read the story of Paul, you will see my story in there as well. I asked God several times to heal me and each time, He said that his grace is sufficient for me. Now what in the world does that mean?
In our lingo, it just means that God is not going to heal me completely because I would get a big head about it. Often in our lives, when we get a lot of money, or relief from whatever, we decide that we dont need God anymore. Its a common problem that affects many of us. When we are poor, or in some other need, we cry out to God.
But once those needs are met, all the sudden, God takes a back seat, if he is even that close. More often than not, we completely forget about God. This is the biggest reason why God allows us to stay in need.
Avpd is the "thorn in my side" that God is not going to fully remove so that I stay close to him and will always know that God is where my strength comes from.
I have 2 things to say today. Dont Give Up! In fact this is the main message of my entire life and the biggest one that I want to drive home. No matter how bad things may look, do not give up. Help is on the way. God often does not seem to show up when we want him too. God lives outside of time. We, on the other hand, or bound to time. So maybe the reason why it takes time for help to get to us from God is due to the time zone difference.
2nd. Just because you have not yet been healed, or healed completely, dont let this get you down. God has a reason for this. Maybe it is so that you can help others. It is often said and true, that the best way to forget about your own problems is to help others.
Have a great day
Phillip
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
When I first got asked that question, I had to stop and think. After all, cant God heal us completely? We say this all the time in our Churches, right?
In fact, Im sure that you are heard it said as well. It seems to be a pretty common "Get out of jail free card" that is often heard in Church. "What, you have ___ (Fill in the blank with any illness), but you are not being healed. You must be in sin, not have enough Faith, or there is some other reason why God has chosen not to heal you."
To this I say Poppy Cock. There are lots and lots of people in this world that do not get healing. Why is just one of those things we dont know. But that by no way necessarily means we dont have the faith, or there is sin or whatever.
Im my case, God told me that he was not going to heal me completely. Why? Well, if you ever read the story of Paul, you will see my story in there as well. I asked God several times to heal me and each time, He said that his grace is sufficient for me. Now what in the world does that mean?
In our lingo, it just means that God is not going to heal me completely because I would get a big head about it. Often in our lives, when we get a lot of money, or relief from whatever, we decide that we dont need God anymore. Its a common problem that affects many of us. When we are poor, or in some other need, we cry out to God.
But once those needs are met, all the sudden, God takes a back seat, if he is even that close. More often than not, we completely forget about God. This is the biggest reason why God allows us to stay in need.
Avpd is the "thorn in my side" that God is not going to fully remove so that I stay close to him and will always know that God is where my strength comes from.
I have 2 things to say today. Dont Give Up! In fact this is the main message of my entire life and the biggest one that I want to drive home. No matter how bad things may look, do not give up. Help is on the way. God often does not seem to show up when we want him too. God lives outside of time. We, on the other hand, or bound to time. So maybe the reason why it takes time for help to get to us from God is due to the time zone difference.
2nd. Just because you have not yet been healed, or healed completely, dont let this get you down. God has a reason for this. Maybe it is so that you can help others. It is often said and true, that the best way to forget about your own problems is to help others.
Have a great day
Phillip
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
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