Good Morning,
As far as I know, there have not been any studies done on Avpd, what causes it, and what might cure it. If you look up on the internet on possible cures, all the data you will find will say that same things. Everyone including professionals will tell you that they dont know what causes Avpd and certainly have no idea how to cure it.
Well, to all this I say Poppy Cock!
I am in the process of writing a book on Avpd. I will be exploring these subjects in depth with as much in the way of hard facts as I can. All my energies and research is going into getting my book finished.
The reality is that the professional community is not really interested in figuring out what causes Avpd and what might cure it. Why you might ask. Well, there are several reasons for this. First, those will Avpd are a relatively small minority of the population on the world, though Avpd is on the upswing. It is a bit like those that create viruses for Mac's vs creating them for PC's.
The reason is simple. There are a lot more Pc's out there than Mac's. If you are someone that creates viruses with the intent of causing damage to people's computers. Which would you do? Would you write a virus that effects millions and millions of computers around the world, or one that effects a few hundred thousand?
(I do not know how many PC's there are in the world compares to Mac's, so I am just using millions to hundreds of thousands as a general # for comparison)
If you are a virus writer, or a terrorist, you want to infect the max number of computers that will hurt the max # of people all over the world. That # by far is the PC market. That plus writing viruses for PC's is easy compared to Mac's which are a lot harder to create a god effective virus for.
We can use this very same analogy for money and research for diseases and disorders. If you are a large pharmaceutical company, scientist, other professional that does this kind of research, how are you going to decide what to research?
Are you going to put money and research towards something that seems to effect millions and millions of people and could result in millions and millions of income from the resulting drugs? Or would you put those research dollars toward something that seems to effect only a handful of people (In population terms) and would have a pretty low ROI (Return on Investment) in terms of those that would buy the drugs to supposedly cure the problem?
In case you dont know the answer, I will give it to you. Research and grant money goes towards issues like Cancer and those other diseases and effect millions upon millions of people and will result in millions and millions of dollars in revenue from the drugs that are produced by the research.
Other conditions like Cancer, Alzheimer, Autism, Muscular Dystrophy and such as these get the lions share of research grant money and probably always will. Now I am in no way saying that these are not worthy issues that need research and money thrown at them, so dont hear me wrong. What I am saying is that mental issues like Avpd get little to no money thrown at them and get little to no research done.
The reason is simple. The squeaky wheel gets the grease!
Cancer and these other medical issues are very visible. Those that have them make a lot of noise. They are all over the news, social media and everywhere else you look. People with Avoidance..Avoid, Go figure right?
Also those with Avpd and other mental issues like Depression and such can seem perfectly normal on the outside. Reality is that Avpd and these other are a ticking time bomb, like those terrorist. The difference is that those with mental issues dont want to hurt anyone. But one day, perhaps many years or even decades down the line, we blow up.
Until we blow, we are silent. There are several problems with silence but the main one goes back to my initial point. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Since we are silent, the world thinks there is no problem there, so...no grant money, and no research. So it seems that at least for now, this is up to us.
I am here to tell you that here is a cause for Avpd and these other issues and there is a cure. I am going to have to leave this at that for now. It will be best to cover this where I can do it in depth and do justice to the issue. I will try to post more as days go by, but the bulk of my time as to be spent writing my book. So please stay tuned!
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Avoidant Personality
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Thursday, October 27, 2016
My Life with Avpd- The condensed version
When I was the Air Force, I was diagnosed with something called Avoidant Personality (Also known as AvPD). I went to see a shrink there because I was unable to be around women. I would get physically ill around them.
It was a huge relief when I was diagnosed with Avoidance. But it was also hard to be labeled. So it was a double edged sword sort of thing.
All of my life I have felt different and weird. I felt like a round peg trying to fit into a world full of square holes. This is why in school, I was a hermit. I kept to myself and talked to no one.
Up until I was diagnosed with Avoidance, I was lost. Once I was diagnosed, at least I knew why I was the way I was and could work on it. It has taken decades to figure things out, but I finally have. These days I do pretty well. I still have my down days and days that I want to go crawl under a rock, but for the most part, I do well.
When I was in the Air Force, I got sent to something called Correctional Custody, which made my Avpd 1000 times worse. I wont go into all the detail, but in short, the sergeants there did everything they could to tear me down, convince me I was worthless and other such fun things like that.
Now back to the Avpd. The short definition of Avpd is that you avoid things. We avid women, men, social functions, going to the store or most anyplace else where there are strangers and avoid pretty much every aspect of life.
Avoidants keep a very very small circle of friends. Most that have Avpd have no friends at all. Most of the friends we have are those at work and those are mostly just acquaintances that we deal with cause its part of work and we have to.
If an Avpd has worked in 1 job for a lot of years, its possible that they get comfortable enough to make friends, or some semblance of friendships. But outside of this, the rest of the world is a very scary place and one to be…you guessed it, Avoided.
One on one relationships, come fairly easy. But in groups of any size at all, panic sets in and its impossible to function. The meaning of “A group of any size” can be different from one Avoidant to the other, but typically its not more than 2 or 3 at the most. The larger the group, the worse it is and the more likely the person with Avpd is to run away or not go at all.
Or if the Avpd person is forced to go, he or she will just sit in a corner and mope or cower. Avoidants are shy, but really beyond shy. Extreme shyness would be the best description. Social function terrify the one with Avpd. Avpders fear most everything. Few are able to have a successful marriage, must less get married.
If one with Avpd does manage to have a successful relationship, it will likely either be a gay relationship (because the same sex are the more comfortable and secure to deal with), or it will be a person of the opposite sex that is submissive and easily dominated. The only relationships that a Avpd person is able to deal with as those that make him feel like he or she is powerful and like that one in charge.
If the other person in the relationship is strong willed, one of few things will likely happen.
• The strain will become too great and the relationship/marriage will fail.
• The other person in the relationship will develop physical symptoms (cancer, Peripheral neuritis, or others illnesses) due to the stress and strain of trying to cope with the one with Avpd.
• The other person will become passive
Those with Avpd are, or will become, very paranoid unless they find a way to fit into society. This might take on the form of a job where they are the boss. This allows them to function because they are able to tell others what to do and not be told what the do. This gives them a sense of security.
If the paranoia continues long enough, a full mental breakdown can occur leading to acting out an act of violence. Those with Avpd can either be victims of domestic violence or the abusers depending on the dynamics of the relationship/marriage.
Most with Avpd attempt suicide at some point in their lives. Others may not attempt outright suicide, but find other things to help them cope like drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs are just a slower form of suicide unless an overdose is taken.
One with Avpd often is a job hoper going from job to job because they simply cannot function unless they find a way to get to the top of the pile quickly. Many with Avpd turn to working from home and self-employment. This seclusion is needed for security, but at the same time is very detrimental to any hope of social development.
I have had more jobs that I can even count. Most days I would be in whats called a brain fog. This is where you feel like you are not really there. Like someone else is at the controls and you are just watching yourself do things.
I searched for many years for something that would help. I still have no clue how I managed to get married. We fought like mad every day and struggled for years. I treated my poor wife very badly. One day, my wife suggested a vitamin supplement. I resisted for a while because it just seemed to easy and I did not want to be disappointed when they did not work.
I ordered and took them out of desperation. I was willing to try most anything to find some relief from the mental pain I was in every single day of my life. I thought that everyone hated me, everyone was out to get me, and I was worthless. I had no value at all and I would never amount to anything. I got the vitamins and started taking them and they worked. Now, other things helped like God, Writing in a journal, talking with others and such, but the vitamins were a miracle. It was like night and day.
When I don’t take them, I slip back into the fog. Im convinced that nutrition plays a major role in Avpd. I wont say that good nutrition is the cure, but I will say that if it was not for these vitamins, I probably would not be alive today.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
When I was the Air Force, I was diagnosed with something called Avoidant Personality (Also known as AvPD). I went to see a shrink there because I was unable to be around women. I would get physically ill around them.
It was a huge relief when I was diagnosed with Avoidance. But it was also hard to be labeled. So it was a double edged sword sort of thing.
All of my life I have felt different and weird. I felt like a round peg trying to fit into a world full of square holes. This is why in school, I was a hermit. I kept to myself and talked to no one.
Up until I was diagnosed with Avoidance, I was lost. Once I was diagnosed, at least I knew why I was the way I was and could work on it. It has taken decades to figure things out, but I finally have. These days I do pretty well. I still have my down days and days that I want to go crawl under a rock, but for the most part, I do well.
When I was in the Air Force, I got sent to something called Correctional Custody, which made my Avpd 1000 times worse. I wont go into all the detail, but in short, the sergeants there did everything they could to tear me down, convince me I was worthless and other such fun things like that.
Now back to the Avpd. The short definition of Avpd is that you avoid things. We avid women, men, social functions, going to the store or most anyplace else where there are strangers and avoid pretty much every aspect of life.
Avoidants keep a very very small circle of friends. Most that have Avpd have no friends at all. Most of the friends we have are those at work and those are mostly just acquaintances that we deal with cause its part of work and we have to.
If an Avpd has worked in 1 job for a lot of years, its possible that they get comfortable enough to make friends, or some semblance of friendships. But outside of this, the rest of the world is a very scary place and one to be…you guessed it, Avoided.
One on one relationships, come fairly easy. But in groups of any size at all, panic sets in and its impossible to function. The meaning of “A group of any size” can be different from one Avoidant to the other, but typically its not more than 2 or 3 at the most. The larger the group, the worse it is and the more likely the person with Avpd is to run away or not go at all.
Or if the Avpd person is forced to go, he or she will just sit in a corner and mope or cower. Avoidants are shy, but really beyond shy. Extreme shyness would be the best description. Social function terrify the one with Avpd. Avpders fear most everything. Few are able to have a successful marriage, must less get married.
If one with Avpd does manage to have a successful relationship, it will likely either be a gay relationship (because the same sex are the more comfortable and secure to deal with), or it will be a person of the opposite sex that is submissive and easily dominated. The only relationships that a Avpd person is able to deal with as those that make him feel like he or she is powerful and like that one in charge.
If the other person in the relationship is strong willed, one of few things will likely happen.
• The strain will become too great and the relationship/marriage will fail.
• The other person in the relationship will develop physical symptoms (cancer, Peripheral neuritis, or others illnesses) due to the stress and strain of trying to cope with the one with Avpd.
• The other person will become passive
Those with Avpd are, or will become, very paranoid unless they find a way to fit into society. This might take on the form of a job where they are the boss. This allows them to function because they are able to tell others what to do and not be told what the do. This gives them a sense of security.
If the paranoia continues long enough, a full mental breakdown can occur leading to acting out an act of violence. Those with Avpd can either be victims of domestic violence or the abusers depending on the dynamics of the relationship/marriage.
Most with Avpd attempt suicide at some point in their lives. Others may not attempt outright suicide, but find other things to help them cope like drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs are just a slower form of suicide unless an overdose is taken.
One with Avpd often is a job hoper going from job to job because they simply cannot function unless they find a way to get to the top of the pile quickly. Many with Avpd turn to working from home and self-employment. This seclusion is needed for security, but at the same time is very detrimental to any hope of social development.
I have had more jobs that I can even count. Most days I would be in whats called a brain fog. This is where you feel like you are not really there. Like someone else is at the controls and you are just watching yourself do things.
I searched for many years for something that would help. I still have no clue how I managed to get married. We fought like mad every day and struggled for years. I treated my poor wife very badly. One day, my wife suggested a vitamin supplement. I resisted for a while because it just seemed to easy and I did not want to be disappointed when they did not work.
I ordered and took them out of desperation. I was willing to try most anything to find some relief from the mental pain I was in every single day of my life. I thought that everyone hated me, everyone was out to get me, and I was worthless. I had no value at all and I would never amount to anything. I got the vitamins and started taking them and they worked. Now, other things helped like God, Writing in a journal, talking with others and such, but the vitamins were a miracle. It was like night and day.
When I don’t take them, I slip back into the fog. Im convinced that nutrition plays a major role in Avpd. I wont say that good nutrition is the cure, but I will say that if it was not for these vitamins, I probably would not be alive today.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Sunday, July 3, 2016
Avoidant Personality the book
It has been a while since I have posted anything here. I am been very busy with writing my book on Avoidance. My hope is to have it done by the end of the year. I thought that I would post the chapters that I have so far.
• Why I wrote this book
• Who can use this book
• How to use this book
• Meet the Normans
• What is Avoidant Personality?
• When I became a Christian, why didn’t Avoidance go away?
• You are not alone
• Should I get officially diagnosed?
• What caused this?
• Everyone hates me
• My life as a puppet
• Relationships
• Communication Problems
• Blackouts
• Trouble Sleeping
• Touching, closeness & hugs oh my!
• Should I tell others?
• Why cant I just get over it?
• Baby Steps
• What can I do to overcome Avpd?
• “Why does God not heal me?”
• 3 in 1
• Don’t ever ever give up
• Does 1 size fit all?
• What causes Avpd?
• Are you thinking of suicide?
• You are not your disorder.
• What is the cure?
• Meet the Author
If anyone has any ideas for any subjects they want me to cover, or any suggestions, you can reach me here.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
• Why I wrote this book
• Who can use this book
• How to use this book
• Meet the Normans
• What is Avoidant Personality?
• When I became a Christian, why didn’t Avoidance go away?
• You are not alone
• Should I get officially diagnosed?
• What caused this?
• Everyone hates me
• My life as a puppet
• Relationships
• Communication Problems
• Blackouts
• Trouble Sleeping
• Touching, closeness & hugs oh my!
• Should I tell others?
• Why cant I just get over it?
• Baby Steps
• What can I do to overcome Avpd?
• “Why does God not heal me?”
• 3 in 1
• Don’t ever ever give up
• Does 1 size fit all?
• What causes Avpd?
• Are you thinking of suicide?
• You are not your disorder.
• What is the cure?
• Meet the Author
If anyone has any ideas for any subjects they want me to cover, or any suggestions, you can reach me here.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Avoidant Personality the book
It has been a while since I have posted anything here. I am been very busy with writing my book on Avoidance. My hope is to have it done by the end of the year. I thought that I would post the chapters that I have so far.
• Why I wrote this book
• Who can use this book
• How to use this book
• Meet the Normans
• What is Avoidant Personality?
• When I became a Christian, why didn’t Avoidance go away?
• You are not alone
• Should I get officially diagnosed?
• What caused this?
• Everyone hates me
• My life as a puppet
• Relationships
• Communication Problems
• Blackouts
• Trouble Sleeping
• Touching, closeness & hugs oh my!
• Should I tell others?
• Why cant I just get over it?
• Baby Steps
• What can I do to overcome Avpd?
• “Why does God not heal me?”
• 3 in 1
• Don’t ever ever give up
• Does 1 size fit all?
• What causes Avpd?
• Are you thinking of suicide?
• You are not your disorder.
• What is the cure?
• Meet the Author
If anyone has any ideas for any subjects they want me to cover, or any suggestions, you can reach me here.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
• Why I wrote this book
• Who can use this book
• How to use this book
• Meet the Normans
• What is Avoidant Personality?
• When I became a Christian, why didn’t Avoidance go away?
• You are not alone
• Should I get officially diagnosed?
• What caused this?
• Everyone hates me
• My life as a puppet
• Relationships
• Communication Problems
• Blackouts
• Trouble Sleeping
• Touching, closeness & hugs oh my!
• Should I tell others?
• Why cant I just get over it?
• Baby Steps
• What can I do to overcome Avpd?
• “Why does God not heal me?”
• 3 in 1
• Don’t ever ever give up
• Does 1 size fit all?
• What causes Avpd?
• Are you thinking of suicide?
• You are not your disorder.
• What is the cure?
• Meet the Author
If anyone has any ideas for any subjects they want me to cover, or any suggestions, you can reach me here.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Avoidance Story
Hi Everyone,
We wont be able to do the meeting tomorrow. My family is here from Texas visiting, so it wont be possible for me to hold the meeting tomorrow. I may or may not be able to hold it next Sunday either depending on if my family is still here.
I wanted to tide everyone over since we have went a while without a meeting. Here is an excerpt my the book I am writing. If you have any questions, please email them to me and I can answer those.
Outside the birds were chirping, the sun was warm, and the roses were in full bloom. Inside, Bob was feeling rejected, defeated, and like he could climb under a rock and die. It was as if someone had pulled the cork on his body and drained all the energy out his body, like a mechanic draining oil from a car. What had brought Bob to this state was the thought of going to the mall with his wife, Jennifer.
Jennifer had been looking forward to going to the mall with her husband all week. She went to the mall so often, that the last time she went, one of the employees at her favorite store Jakes, asked for her employee ID so he could give her a discount. For Bob, the thought of going to a mall was a nightmare. Jennifer begged him to go with her. When Bob said that he just could not do it, Jennifer would cry and tell Bob that she felt invaluable and not worth his time, so Bob gave in like he always did. Bob and Jennifer got to the mall and the onslaught ensued. The first store they walked into was JC Penny’s.
Bob felt his mind start to be pulled apart. Every one of these hundreds of people in the store was a potential enemy, and it was his minds jobs to sort them out. Each one had to be assigned a combatant classification based on how much of a threat they posed. Threats included those that were too small, too short, too good looking, too ugly, too old, too young, too smart, too dumb, and a 100 others. These judgments were applied to every one of the hundreds of people that came into and out of Bob’s view for the entire time he was in the Mall. This crowd of people was constantly changing, so these thousands of assessments happened over and over again in Bob’s mind.
At some point, so much mental energy was being used up that Bob’s body just could not handle it anymore. His brain had turned to mush, his body became limp and he had trouble walking. He became incapable of talking and had to sit. He began to get sick to his stomach and felt like he was going to throw up. This is the pain that Bob felt when faced with any social situation. The mall was just the worst of the worst.
When Bob and Jennifer got home from the mall, the unavoidable fight ensued. Jennifer accused Bob of not talking to her and ignoring her. These days, combined with Bob’s other symptoms like Depression, Society Phobia, Social Anxiety, a host of fears like Going outside, being alone, being with people, being rejected, and failure. Bob’s life was a living hell. Jennifer tried to understand Bob, but she just could not get there. After all, it was completely illogical to have such hang ups. She had told him this a thousand times. “Avoidance, Bob? You have to be kidding me. That’s just an excuse. Get over it”.
Jennifer and Bob’s marriage was on their very last thread. This is why Jenifer had started retreating into her 80’s world of listening to the Bee Gees. She felt unappreciated, defeated, unloved and ready to give up. She was sure that she could get back out there and find another man that did not use excuses like this Avoidant Personality and love her like she needed to be loved. She starred out her window and thought about her horrible excuse for a marriage. One fight in particular was the subject of many of her thoughts these days. The fight had been so bad that Bob had kicked her out of their car, left her on the side of the road, pregnant, wet, and 5 miles from home.
Jennifer wanted to ask for a divorce with everything in her, but something told her to hang on just a little longer. Sunday came and Jennifer drug Bob to Church. The Pastor talked about healing. Not just the quick and easy healing, that costs nothing, that so many pastors preached, but a healing that would take time, but last a lifetime. Bob had mustered the courage and strength to go down to the front for prayer. He had no idea where this came from. It was an odd feeling unlike any he had felt before. Later on, he realized that God, the ruler of the universe, had actually taken the time to reach into Bob’s pathetic life and give him a gift. A gift of strength, courage, and love. Bob stood up, walked down to the front, and asked the Pastor to pray for him.
The Pastor prayed a simple prayer. Not the long winded type, that so many Pastors used to bring glory to themselves, but a simple prayer that asked God to finish the work that he had begun already. That evening, after Bob had returned home, there was a hope there that Bob had not had since Bob had been saved some 30 years ago. Bob felt like a veil had been lifted from his mind, his, heart and his very life. Bob knew that his Avoidance was not going to go away overnight, but was going to require work. For the first time in Bob’s life, this work seemed possible. Bob was determined to do the work and find the healing for his marriage and his Avoidance. That too would not happen overnight. There were years of hurt, and pain to be overcome, but now that God as in the picture, it was not only possible, but would happen.
Phillip
We wont be able to do the meeting tomorrow. My family is here from Texas visiting, so it wont be possible for me to hold the meeting tomorrow. I may or may not be able to hold it next Sunday either depending on if my family is still here.
I wanted to tide everyone over since we have went a while without a meeting. Here is an excerpt my the book I am writing. If you have any questions, please email them to me and I can answer those.
Outside the birds were chirping, the sun was warm, and the roses were in full bloom. Inside, Bob was feeling rejected, defeated, and like he could climb under a rock and die. It was as if someone had pulled the cork on his body and drained all the energy out his body, like a mechanic draining oil from a car. What had brought Bob to this state was the thought of going to the mall with his wife, Jennifer.
Jennifer had been looking forward to going to the mall with her husband all week. She went to the mall so often, that the last time she went, one of the employees at her favorite store Jakes, asked for her employee ID so he could give her a discount. For Bob, the thought of going to a mall was a nightmare. Jennifer begged him to go with her. When Bob said that he just could not do it, Jennifer would cry and tell Bob that she felt invaluable and not worth his time, so Bob gave in like he always did. Bob and Jennifer got to the mall and the onslaught ensued. The first store they walked into was JC Penny’s.
Bob felt his mind start to be pulled apart. Every one of these hundreds of people in the store was a potential enemy, and it was his minds jobs to sort them out. Each one had to be assigned a combatant classification based on how much of a threat they posed. Threats included those that were too small, too short, too good looking, too ugly, too old, too young, too smart, too dumb, and a 100 others. These judgments were applied to every one of the hundreds of people that came into and out of Bob’s view for the entire time he was in the Mall. This crowd of people was constantly changing, so these thousands of assessments happened over and over again in Bob’s mind.
At some point, so much mental energy was being used up that Bob’s body just could not handle it anymore. His brain had turned to mush, his body became limp and he had trouble walking. He became incapable of talking and had to sit. He began to get sick to his stomach and felt like he was going to throw up. This is the pain that Bob felt when faced with any social situation. The mall was just the worst of the worst.
When Bob and Jennifer got home from the mall, the unavoidable fight ensued. Jennifer accused Bob of not talking to her and ignoring her. These days, combined with Bob’s other symptoms like Depression, Society Phobia, Social Anxiety, a host of fears like Going outside, being alone, being with people, being rejected, and failure. Bob’s life was a living hell. Jennifer tried to understand Bob, but she just could not get there. After all, it was completely illogical to have such hang ups. She had told him this a thousand times. “Avoidance, Bob? You have to be kidding me. That’s just an excuse. Get over it”.
Jennifer and Bob’s marriage was on their very last thread. This is why Jenifer had started retreating into her 80’s world of listening to the Bee Gees. She felt unappreciated, defeated, unloved and ready to give up. She was sure that she could get back out there and find another man that did not use excuses like this Avoidant Personality and love her like she needed to be loved. She starred out her window and thought about her horrible excuse for a marriage. One fight in particular was the subject of many of her thoughts these days. The fight had been so bad that Bob had kicked her out of their car, left her on the side of the road, pregnant, wet, and 5 miles from home.
Jennifer wanted to ask for a divorce with everything in her, but something told her to hang on just a little longer. Sunday came and Jennifer drug Bob to Church. The Pastor talked about healing. Not just the quick and easy healing, that costs nothing, that so many pastors preached, but a healing that would take time, but last a lifetime. Bob had mustered the courage and strength to go down to the front for prayer. He had no idea where this came from. It was an odd feeling unlike any he had felt before. Later on, he realized that God, the ruler of the universe, had actually taken the time to reach into Bob’s pathetic life and give him a gift. A gift of strength, courage, and love. Bob stood up, walked down to the front, and asked the Pastor to pray for him.
The Pastor prayed a simple prayer. Not the long winded type, that so many Pastors used to bring glory to themselves, but a simple prayer that asked God to finish the work that he had begun already. That evening, after Bob had returned home, there was a hope there that Bob had not had since Bob had been saved some 30 years ago. Bob felt like a veil had been lifted from his mind, his, heart and his very life. Bob knew that his Avoidance was not going to go away overnight, but was going to require work. For the first time in Bob’s life, this work seemed possible. Bob was determined to do the work and find the healing for his marriage and his Avoidance. That too would not happen overnight. There were years of hurt, and pain to be overcome, but now that God as in the picture, it was not only possible, but would happen.
Phillip
Sunday, March 27, 2016
To win against Avoidance, you have to find healing as a whole
Hi Everyone,
Today I wanted to talk just a bit about healing. Now we have Avoidance, or a related issue, so this is what we want healing from. But this applies to your entire life. We are beings of Spirit, Body and Mind. While here on this earth, we cannot separate one from the other.
Where one goes, the others follow. In other words, if you are weak in one area, the others will be weak as well. Some people focus on one aspect of themselves while ignoring the others. For example, some will become work out fiends. They work out and make this their sole mission on life. But they ignore the spiritual aspect, and do nothing for their minds.
After a while of this, they become people with great bodies, but are usually pretty light in the other areas, if they exist at all. Eventually, the entire person fails. Same concept with those that focus on the Spirit only, or the mind only.
All 3 need to be in tune with each other. Now how does this apply to Avoidance. Well, Avpd is a mental disorder. To overcome Avoidance, you have to look at all 3 things that make up you. Mind, Body and Spirit. If any one of those 3 is not being addressed, healing cannot take place. At least not a well and lasting healing.
In our next meeting, we will look at his more in depth.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/needsmet/2016/04/03/group-for-people-that-suffer-from-avoidant-personality-other-similar-disorders
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Todays Group
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/needsmet/2016/03/06/group-for-people-that-suffer-from-avoidant-personality-other-similar-disorders
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/needsmet/2016/03/06/group-for-people-that-suffer-from-avoidant-personality-other-similar-disorders
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Dealing with Depression Video
Even though this is a video on depression and not Avoidant Personality, I thought it worthy to post here since Avpd is not that much different.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJ_S5Rjt_iI
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJ_S5Rjt_iI
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Friday, February 5, 2016
The meeting Sunday is at 4pm. I hope as many as possible can make it. Here is the link to it.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/needsmet/2016/02/07/group-for-people-that-suffer-from-avoidant-personality-other-similar-disorders
Phillip
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/needsmet/2016/02/07/group-for-people-that-suffer-from-avoidant-personality-other-similar-disorders
Phillip
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Next meeting Sunday the 24th at 4pm - Be there or be square!
Hi everyone,
This coming Sunday the 24th will be our next meeting. This Sunday, I will be going over questions and giving answers to those questions.
Time permitting, we will also have a survey that I will need you all to complete and we will talk more about relationships between a normal and someone with Avoidance. Depression, Social Anxiety etc.
I am hoping that as many of you as possible will come to the meeting. Your homework before you come to the meeting this.
Yes, we will start having homework. I have decided that we need to start treating this more like a workshop.
If you are really serious about wanting to overcome what plagues you in your life, you must begin to take steps to master it. Whatever you do not master in your life will sooner or later, master you!
Lets not let that happen. I know you are all busy, but in life, you make time for what is important to you.
If overcoming these things is important to you, you must make time for them and put in the effort.
So for your homework before the next meeting, there are 2 things I want you to do.
#1 I want you to come up with 5 positive things about yourself. You can email me those things before the class, or send them in chat during class. Either is fine. What you think of yourself is what you will become.
#2 I want you to go somewhere you have never been before. It can be a new shop, a friends house, a new store. Whatever it is is fine. Just choose somewhere you have not been before. And you are not going to get off the hook as easy as just going to that store down the street you have never been too walking in and walking out. I want you to go up to someone in this new place and introduce yourself. It does not have to be a long conversation, but just an intro. Baby Steps is the key just like in the movie "What About Bob".
Please either send me an email or let me know in chat that you have done this. We are going to start treating this more like a class. I am going to be asking for your names, you can make up an alias if you wish and taking a sort of roll.
I want everyone and anyone to feel free to come in and just listen, but I also want those that really want to get help and healing to take this seriously.
So if you really want to start on the road to overcoming, come to the meeting and lets begin!!
Phillip
Organizer
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
This coming Sunday the 24th will be our next meeting. This Sunday, I will be going over questions and giving answers to those questions.
Time permitting, we will also have a survey that I will need you all to complete and we will talk more about relationships between a normal and someone with Avoidance. Depression, Social Anxiety etc.
I am hoping that as many of you as possible will come to the meeting. Your homework before you come to the meeting this.
Yes, we will start having homework. I have decided that we need to start treating this more like a workshop.
If you are really serious about wanting to overcome what plagues you in your life, you must begin to take steps to master it. Whatever you do not master in your life will sooner or later, master you!
Lets not let that happen. I know you are all busy, but in life, you make time for what is important to you.
If overcoming these things is important to you, you must make time for them and put in the effort.
So for your homework before the next meeting, there are 2 things I want you to do.
#1 I want you to come up with 5 positive things about yourself. You can email me those things before the class, or send them in chat during class. Either is fine. What you think of yourself is what you will become.
#2 I want you to go somewhere you have never been before. It can be a new shop, a friends house, a new store. Whatever it is is fine. Just choose somewhere you have not been before. And you are not going to get off the hook as easy as just going to that store down the street you have never been too walking in and walking out. I want you to go up to someone in this new place and introduce yourself. It does not have to be a long conversation, but just an intro. Baby Steps is the key just like in the movie "What About Bob".
Please either send me an email or let me know in chat that you have done this. We are going to start treating this more like a class. I am going to be asking for your names, you can make up an alias if you wish and taking a sort of roll.
I want everyone and anyone to feel free to come in and just listen, but I also want those that really want to get help and healing to take this seriously.
So if you really want to start on the road to overcoming, come to the meeting and lets begin!!
Phillip
Organizer
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Sunday, January 17, 2016
todays Avoidant group
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/needsmet/2016/01/18/group-for-people-that-suffer-from-avoidant-personality-other-similar-disorders
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/needsmet/2016/01/18/group-for-people-that-suffer-from-avoidant-personality-other-similar-disorders
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Hi Everyone,
If you can make the meeting this Sunday the 17th at 5pm, please do. I will keep the format lose as I think I will do for all of our meetings.
I am most interested in your questions. If you have something burning in your mind, please bring it.
Feel free to ask your question at any time during the meeting. If you have friends, or family that have Avoidant Personalities, Depression, Social Anxiety, or any similar disorder, please come.
I would also love to see anyone that is trying to be in a relationship with someone that has any disorder like this to come as well.
I will try to do a meeting every Sunday right around this same time. So if you cant make this one, please come to the next one.
Here is the link to this Sundays Group meeting.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/needsmet/2016/01/18/group-for-people-that-suffer-from-avoidant-personality-other-similar-disorders
Just before the meeting starts, there will be a chat room link that will open up on the page. Please come into the chat room so I know who is on. You can also call into the meeting if you like. Here is the # if you wish to call in, but remember that # is only good during the meeting. (646) 787-8139
Phillip Dacus
Meeting organizer
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Next meeting Sunday the 17th
Good Morning Everyone,
The last meeting we had on 1/10/16 was very good. We had about 15 that came. For what was our first real meeting, I was quite happy with the turn out.
At some point in the future, perhaps an physical meeting might work, but for now, I think we will keep it this way.
There is safety in numbers. We all share a similar issues and have a common goal. We have Avoidant Personality, Depression, Social Anxiety, etc. Since we all know that each of us have these issues, there is no judgement. This is a safe place where we can talk openly and honestly.
I went ahead and scheduled the next meeting for this coming Sunday the 17th at 5pm. I pushed it back an hour from what it was last Sunday. Hopefully that time slot will work out for everyone.
We will also continue, at least for now, using Blog Talk Radio(BTR). It seemed to work pretty well last Sunday. For anyone that does not know, BTR is an internet radio station, not a traditional station you can pick up on your car stereo. So its a lot more private. One of the nice things about BTR is they have a very nice chat system.
So you can maintain your anonymity if you wish and come in the chat room anonymously and post any question, comment, or just hang out and listen in. I encourage everyone of you to come and join us.
Last Sunday was mainly an intro to the group, but we did have a question on how to break through to become more social. We talked a bit about that and I will continue with that a bit more in depth at the next group.
So, if you are series about wanting to find some healing from Avoidants, Depression, or Social Anxiety, come out this Sunday the 17th, bring your questions and anything else that you want to talk about. The best place to sign up for the group is on my Meet up page, but I will also post here as well.
Phillip
Your group orgniazer
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
The last meeting we had on 1/10/16 was very good. We had about 15 that came. For what was our first real meeting, I was quite happy with the turn out.
At some point in the future, perhaps an physical meeting might work, but for now, I think we will keep it this way.
There is safety in numbers. We all share a similar issues and have a common goal. We have Avoidant Personality, Depression, Social Anxiety, etc. Since we all know that each of us have these issues, there is no judgement. This is a safe place where we can talk openly and honestly.
I went ahead and scheduled the next meeting for this coming Sunday the 17th at 5pm. I pushed it back an hour from what it was last Sunday. Hopefully that time slot will work out for everyone.
We will also continue, at least for now, using Blog Talk Radio(BTR). It seemed to work pretty well last Sunday. For anyone that does not know, BTR is an internet radio station, not a traditional station you can pick up on your car stereo. So its a lot more private. One of the nice things about BTR is they have a very nice chat system.
So you can maintain your anonymity if you wish and come in the chat room anonymously and post any question, comment, or just hang out and listen in. I encourage everyone of you to come and join us.
Last Sunday was mainly an intro to the group, but we did have a question on how to break through to become more social. We talked a bit about that and I will continue with that a bit more in depth at the next group.
So, if you are series about wanting to find some healing from Avoidants, Depression, or Social Anxiety, come out this Sunday the 17th, bring your questions and anything else that you want to talk about. The best place to sign up for the group is on my Meet up page, but I will also post here as well.
Phillip
Your group orgniazer
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Todays group went very well. There were around 15 or so in the meeting. In the group, I announced the next one to be on the 17th, which as it turns out is next Sunday. Go Figure!
I am open to every week if there is enough interest. Just let me know by leaving something on the Facebook page, by email, or here.
Any questions, comments, or anything else that you have, I would love to hear those as well. In case you missed it. here is the audio from the group. We have a web site that is under contraction. It is AvoidantPersonalites.com or Avoidants.org
In case you missed the group, here is the link to it. I as late getting into the group due to some technical issues.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
I am open to every week if there is enough interest. Just let me know by leaving something on the Facebook page, by email, or here.
Any questions, comments, or anything else that you have, I would love to hear those as well. In case you missed it. here is the audio from the group. We have a web site that is under contraction. It is AvoidantPersonalites.com or Avoidants.org
In case you missed the group, here is the link to it. I as late getting into the group due to some technical issues.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Tomorrow is Sunday the 9th of January 2016. We will be having a group meeting for Avoidants and those that have similar disorders like Depression, Social Anxiety etc. The class will start at 4pm and run until 4:30pm.
Provided there is enough interest, we will consider expanding the time later on. Right now, we are planning on doing this just once a month, but we are open to changing that too depending on interest.
This class will be a private class and my invite only. So if you are interested in joining the class, please go to http://www.meetup.com/Meridian-Avoidant-Personality-Disorder-Meetup/ and register for the class.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
Provided there is enough interest, we will consider expanding the time later on. Right now, we are planning on doing this just once a month, but we are open to changing that too depending on interest.
This class will be a private class and my invite only. So if you are interested in joining the class, please go to http://www.meetup.com/Meridian-Avoidant-Personality-Disorder-Meetup/ and register for the class.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
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