Yesterday was a really bad day. Today I feel like Im back to normal. Well, as normal as can be expected. After all these years, I still dont understand what causes these things and how to prevent them. Or perhaps there is no way to prevent them. I wish I knew.
Yesterday, I didn't even want to get out of bed. I work from home. And most of the time, its not very busy. I felt like crawling under a rock and never coming out. My wife came home around noon or so. When she talked to me, it was as if I was not really there talking to her of hearing what she was saying. Perhaps that was how an out of body experience feels. It was an odd feeling. Like I was not connected to my body at all. Just going through the motions.
No idea what caused it. Perhaps it was the Avoidant thing. Perhaps it was not enough sleep. Perhaps it was a lack of nutrition. Or a combo of all the above.
I made it through the day as I always manager to do. Around 5pm or so, I actually started to feel better. Today, I feel pretty much normal again. My wife suspects that I have sleep apnea. Wow. What other problems can I pile onto this body of mine?
Or maybe, just maybe, the sleep apnea is the root, or at least a good chuck of it. I dont know. I wish I did. All I know is that i have a very hard time functioning in this world I live in. I think its only my leaning on my faith in God that I can manage at all.
I have an appt with the Va on the 30th. Just a regular check up, but I am going to have the doc look into the sleep apnea thing.
This is my log of my day to day issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also srtuggling with this disorder or another like it.http://www.AvoidantPersonality.com
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