My hypnotherapy session

I bet you are asking yourself why I went for Hypnosis after writing my last blog entry. Well, actually I didnt. This was a session I had a long time ago that I had forgotten about.

Hypnosis is a pretty secretive thing. At least it seems that way. I have seen all the commercials on TV, but they are just marketing fluff. They dont give you any real information on what to expect at all. And of the inquiries I have made with hypnotherapists, not one has given me any real indication of what a session involves or what to expect to calm my fears.

So I thought it might be helpful for me and others out there to write about my experience.

I was in the Air Force at the time. It was around 1983. I went because I was afraid of women. I would become physically ill when I was around them. When your single, which I was at the time, this complicates dating a bit.

So, I wanted help. Back then, I was young and didn’t think about things like consequences. I had a problem and this looked like it offered a solution. (I kind of miss the good ole days of not caring or having to think about things like what’s good or bad for me etc...)

I needed help and there it was, so I jumped at it. Of course now that I think about it, not thinking about if something was a good idea or not, got me in a lot of trouble. So on second thought, perhaps I am better off now.

It has been a long time ago, so I don’t recall much in the way of details. My memory is not very good. It never has been. At least not as far as I can remember.

I remember going into the Hypnotherapists office for my session. I don’t recall what he said or how he “put me under”. I do remember that I was conscience the whole time. I did not fall asleep like you see on TV and in the movies.

I felt like I was in control, but at the same time was not in control. He told me to sit upright in a chair, which I did. He told me to put my arms on the armrests of the chair, which I did.

The hypnotist told me to imagine (Not sure of the exact word he used) a balloon was tied to my wrist. The balloon had helium in it so it floated. Then he said that another was being tied to my wrist and then another.

With each one, I could feel my wrist getting lighter. Then after several of these imaginary balloons were attached to my wrist, my entire arm began to float. I do recall being in disbelief that this was actually happening. I never would have thought that I could be hypnotized.

But here it was. It seemed to be happening. The power of suggestion was actually making my arm rise just like when Anikan Skywalker rose to become Darth Vadar.

I don’t remember anything else from the session, or what happened afterwards. I have no idea if I ever went asleep or if I would have. Perhaps the whole thing is just about suggestions that the hypnotists makes while you are seemingly awake and in control. But in realty, since the Hypnotherapist was able to make my arm rise, I was not in control of what I did. He was.

So, this would seem to be the biggest reason not to go to Hypnotherapist. I was handing over control of my mind to another person. This is wrong. The only person that should have control over my mind is Jesus. No man or woman should be allowed to do this.

Throughout history, we have struggled with people in control. Dictators in the middle east and elsewhere have wielded control. Many have been unseated because the people decided they did not like the control they had over them.

We don’t even like the control that the President, Congress and Senators have over us. It’s the old saying of absolute power corrupts absolutely.

It goes way back to the Israelites when God took them out of Egypt. They were told by God that they should not have a king (A man in control over them). Only God was to rule over them. God knew that no man had this ability. Israel insisted they wanted a king to rule them. So God allowed this, but told them that it was a really bad idea and they would be sorry (My paraphrase)

When I went to this hypnotherapist, I allowed a person to have control over my mind and I let them make suggestions that would affect who I was and what I did. I don’t believe that anyone is good enough or righteous enough or trustworthy enough to be given this power. In fact, the Bible says exactly that.

Romans 3:10 tells us that no one is righteous, No not one. Luke 18:19 says that no one is good except God.

Let’s look at this logically. According to God, no one is good. So to give someone that is not good control over your mind is just plain dumb.

How about looking at hypnosis scientifically? We know very little about the human brain. The brain is the most powerful thing on earth. We really don’t know what all the brain is able to do, but estimates are that the control the brain has over our bodies is in the billions or perhaps even trillions. It controls everything from our heart beats, to how fast our nails grow. It controls our emotions, everything we feel, or don’t feel.

Modern day computers have hard drives (Storage or Memory Capacity) that are around 1 terabyte right now. They are no where even close to being able to do what the human brain can do. We have no way of measuring how much storage capacity the human brain has. This is mostly because the human brain, despite modern techniques, is still pretty mysterious. We just don’t know how the brain really works.

Now, I come back to logic. We have come to the conclusion that the brain has absolute control over who you are, what you do and what you don’t do. It controls every single function of your body from the biggest to the smallest including your emotions. We have no idea how the brain works with all its complexities.

So why in the world would anyone allow a mere man or woman, to take control of a mind that they know so very little about and put suggestions into it? Suggestions that we have no way of knowing what the full ramifications of those suggestions might be.

When I went to this Hypnotherapist, I was giving him permission to come into my mind and take control over it. Since my mind, which is another word for brain, has control over who I am, I was giving this person permission to take control of my life and tell me what I should and should not do.

This is God's domain. He is the only one that Christians should be looking to and giving permission to have control over us and tell us what we should and should not do.

Hmm, who else do I know that loves to take control of peoples lives, their minds, their wills and their very soles? I will give you a minute.

That would be satan. Since I was not giving this control to God, and since there is only 1 other power in the universe, I was effectively giving satan permission to take control of my mind and therefore my very life.

Isn't logic a cool thing?









This is my log of my day to day issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also srtuggling with this disorder or another like it.http://www.AvoidantPersonality.com

I cant stands no more

It has been a while since my last post. I will be 51 years old in June 2012. I have lived with being an Avoidant Personality all my life. Though it is by belief that my time in the Air Force made my condition much worse. But that is another story that I wont go into here. (If people say that they are interested in that story I will start a new blog just for that)

It has been so long living with this, that its just normal for me. I have learned to live with it. But then I see others that are not afflicted with this condition and I am envious. I want that normal life that they seem to so effortlessly have. Why cant I have that? Why cant I have friends? Why cant I socialize and just be more normal?

Im pushing into my older years now. I think I deserve to be free from this. Dont I deserve that much from this life?

Being this way effects my wife, my daughter, my ministry and anyone I come in contact with. Its like an ever present rain cloud that I carry with me everywhere I go. Very few people understand me. Even my wife struggles with it. They dont deserve this.

So in my desperation, I revisited Hypnotherapy. Why shouldn't I? I see those commercials on TV that promise quick fixes and instant relief from afflictions. Though its mainly weight loss and smoking that they target. And why shouldn't they? Its a billion or even trillion dollar industry.

I know that this pursuit is illogical and just plain not a good idea. But at some point, enough is enough? In the words of Popeye, "That all I can stands I cant stands no more!!!

There comes a time when desperation overpowers reason and good judgement.

All my life I have held the belief that Hypnotism was wrong. It was an area that Christians should not be involved in. Playing with the mind is not a control that you should hand over to someone else. Only Jesus should have this. But Jesus has not done his part. It seems that he has failed me in this area.

So I emailed several Hypnotherapist and investigated this. After all, couldn't this be just another tool that God could use? Just like God uses doctors, medicine, and so many other things. Maybe Hypnotism is just another tool that he can use to heal us.

At least that was my justification.

As humans, we have the ability to reason. We can justify and rationalize anything. We can twist the Word of God around to say anything we want. After all, according to 1 Corinthians 10:23, inst everything permissible?

All one has to do in order to rationalize this is to leave out the rest of the verse. The rest of the verse says that though everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial.

I struggled with this and I am still struggling with it. The carrot that is being dangled in front of me is so very tempting. Hypnotism promises a quick and easy fix to my Avoidant Personality.

The other thing to consider is the fruits of a quick an easy fix. The Word says that we will know them by their fruits. Matthew 7:16

God is just not into the quick and easy things in life. But comon God. 50 years!! That seems like a stretch for taking ones time to me. In the end though, I have to believe that God has a way out for my being an Avoidant.

I dont think letting someone play around inside my sub conscience mind is a good idea. After a lot of prayer, thought and research, I have come back to my original conclusion. Hypnotism falls into the categories mentioned in Deuteronomy 18:9-13.

So I am back to the drawing board. Well, maybe not completely. Is it possible that Avoidant Personality is some sort of demon possession?

Oh, I dont mean possession of the sole. My sole belongs to Jesus. Where Jesus is, satan cant be. But what about the mind? Is it possible that Satan and his minions could posses that somehow?

This is my new direction. When I think about it, it makes logical sense. After all God tells us that our fight is not against flesh and blood, but principalities and powers. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

All my life, I have looked at being an Avoidant like a physical problem to be overcome by will power or better Corn Flakes. Well, maybe that was all wrong. Maybe it is an actual Spiritual battle that needs to be addressed as such.

I found a good web page that seems to talk along this line. It offers a Batyle plan that I think is very good.


I have to be rid of this Avoidant Personality thing once and for all. I have lived with it far too long. Its time to take my life back!

Comon Satan, if this is really your doing, lets rumble!!












This is my log of my day to day issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also srtuggling with this disorder or another like it.http://www.AvoidantPersonality.com

Being the spouse of an avoidant

My poor wife has been married to me for 8 years now. I say my poor wife because I am an Avoidant. My wife is normal. If there is such a thing as normal. Being an avoidant is a mental disability. It is just a debilitating as any physical disability. In my opinion, its even worse because it cannot be seen or felt or detected by normal means.

People that have Avoidant Personality can pretend quite well to blend into society or at least avoid it. And to make things even worse, our society has in a way become a society of Avoidants. No longer do we need personal constant with each other. Now we all use Email, video calls, skype, cell phones, texting, the internet etc..

So we never even need to even see each other anymore.

Living with an Avoidant is the worst. My wife has tried for 8 years to figure me out. Good luck to her is all I have to say. I dont say that flippantly or even rudely. Unfortunately, its just a fact that I am a tough nut to crack. I have trouble figuring myself out. How can she possibly succeed in this?

We have struggled for 8 years to work it out. Now, we are in no way giving up, but its a huge struggle. A normal marriage is hard enough to make successful. Being married to an Avoidant is beyond tough.

My wife has to walk on egg shells all the time around me. My ego is so fragile that the least pressure will fracture it.

In a normal relationship, the 2 partners fight. But the 2 fight and work things out. This is normal and healthy.

In an Avoidant relationship, the normal partner becomes angry with the Avoidant partner. The norm one raises their voice, becomes angry and states their problem with the Avoidant. Instead of the other person responding, the Avoidant cowers in the corner or their mind and heart. They withdraw and become as a terrified little child.

They completely shut down and retreat. This norm person has not a clue how to respond, but often takes this is a sign that they are right or not being heard and presses even harder. The harder the norm partner presses, the more the Avoidant retreats.

When the Avoidant is in this state of being retreated inside, they cannot do anything to make things better. They are frozen and so far inside, that nothing can penetrate the hard shell.

This is the way things are with my wife and I. She desperately wants to know why I cannot respond and why I cant just trust her with my feelings. It stinks for her.

We had an incident this last weekend. We attended Church, as we often do. But this time, the sanctuary had been rearranged. Kudos to the pastor for doing this as I thought the new arrangement was very good. At least for normal people it is good.

The seats were arranged in a circle around the stage, which was in the center. I have never seen an arrangement like this. I was very impressed. But like I said, impressed for normal people

Having the seats in arranged like this meant that everyone was very close to the front. So it was not possible to hide in the back like we normally do. My wife wanted to sit up front. I accommodated her because I didnt want to make a scene and try to explain myself. Its very very embarrassing to try to explain a disability that is totally illogical and makes no sence at all. The only reason I can talk about it here is that it seems safe to write it all down.

So we sat up front. We were so close that I could clearly see the pastor and he could see me!!!!!

In the configuration we were in, there were a row of people that were facing me. It was as if those people were looking right at me. It was everything I could do to not look them in the eye. I tried looking everywhere I could to avoid looking at any of them.

It was the worst experience I have had in a long long time. All my senses were on High Alert!!!

My mind was scanning the entire crowd the whole time looking for threats. Any potential threat had to be avoided at all costs. Threats were the Pastor, the Pastors kid, the people that were seated facing me, the camera that was facing the pastor but because of the configuration of the seating, was pointing right at me.

Even my poor wife was a threat because she might be able to tell that something was wrong and might ask what was wrong. I would not be able to respond to her in any nice way or at all since I was in this state of High Alert. I might be forced to flea and any moment.

Even writing this all down brings be back to a state of fear and alertness of danger.

All this to say that my hats off to anyone that has to deal with a relationship with an Avoidant!!!!

God bless you for putting up with us.







This is my log of my day to day issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder or another like it.http://www.AvoidantPersonality.com