I cant stands no more

It has been a while since my last post. I will be 51 years old in June 2012. I have lived with being an Avoidant Personality all my life. Though it is by belief that my time in the Air Force made my condition much worse. But that is another story that I wont go into here. (If people say that they are interested in that story I will start a new blog just for that)

It has been so long living with this, that its just normal for me. I have learned to live with it. But then I see others that are not afflicted with this condition and I am envious. I want that normal life that they seem to so effortlessly have. Why cant I have that? Why cant I have friends? Why cant I socialize and just be more normal?

Im pushing into my older years now. I think I deserve to be free from this. Dont I deserve that much from this life?

Being this way effects my wife, my daughter, my ministry and anyone I come in contact with. Its like an ever present rain cloud that I carry with me everywhere I go. Very few people understand me. Even my wife struggles with it. They dont deserve this.

So in my desperation, I revisited Hypnotherapy. Why shouldn't I? I see those commercials on TV that promise quick fixes and instant relief from afflictions. Though its mainly weight loss and smoking that they target. And why shouldn't they? Its a billion or even trillion dollar industry.

I know that this pursuit is illogical and just plain not a good idea. But at some point, enough is enough? In the words of Popeye, "That all I can stands I cant stands no more!!!

There comes a time when desperation overpowers reason and good judgement.

All my life I have held the belief that Hypnotism was wrong. It was an area that Christians should not be involved in. Playing with the mind is not a control that you should hand over to someone else. Only Jesus should have this. But Jesus has not done his part. It seems that he has failed me in this area.

So I emailed several Hypnotherapist and investigated this. After all, couldn't this be just another tool that God could use? Just like God uses doctors, medicine, and so many other things. Maybe Hypnotism is just another tool that he can use to heal us.

At least that was my justification.

As humans, we have the ability to reason. We can justify and rationalize anything. We can twist the Word of God around to say anything we want. After all, according to 1 Corinthians 10:23, inst everything permissible?

All one has to do in order to rationalize this is to leave out the rest of the verse. The rest of the verse says that though everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial.

I struggled with this and I am still struggling with it. The carrot that is being dangled in front of me is so very tempting. Hypnotism promises a quick and easy fix to my Avoidant Personality.

The other thing to consider is the fruits of a quick an easy fix. The Word says that we will know them by their fruits. Matthew 7:16

God is just not into the quick and easy things in life. But comon God. 50 years!! That seems like a stretch for taking ones time to me. In the end though, I have to believe that God has a way out for my being an Avoidant.

I dont think letting someone play around inside my sub conscience mind is a good idea. After a lot of prayer, thought and research, I have come back to my original conclusion. Hypnotism falls into the categories mentioned in Deuteronomy 18:9-13.

So I am back to the drawing board. Well, maybe not completely. Is it possible that Avoidant Personality is some sort of demon possession?

Oh, I dont mean possession of the sole. My sole belongs to Jesus. Where Jesus is, satan cant be. But what about the mind? Is it possible that Satan and his minions could posses that somehow?

This is my new direction. When I think about it, it makes logical sense. After all God tells us that our fight is not against flesh and blood, but principalities and powers. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

All my life, I have looked at being an Avoidant like a physical problem to be overcome by will power or better Corn Flakes. Well, maybe that was all wrong. Maybe it is an actual Spiritual battle that needs to be addressed as such.

I found a good web page that seems to talk along this line. It offers a Batyle plan that I think is very good.


I have to be rid of this Avoidant Personality thing once and for all. I have lived with it far too long. Its time to take my life back!

Comon Satan, if this is really your doing, lets rumble!!












This is my log of my day to day issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also srtuggling with this disorder or another like it.http://www.AvoidantPersonality.com