When I was in school, I was thought of as being Gay. Looking back on it, I can see why. Kids love to tease and bully those that dont fit into their mold. Its not just kids though. We do the same things. We tease, make fun of and bully those that are not like us.
If someone does not fit into our idea of who we think they should be, they just cant be right in the head. Right?
When I was a kid in school, I did not like girls at all. I dont think it was that I did not like them, but was scared to death of em. I would get physically ill when anywhere in the vicinity of a girl. And if it was a group or girls, I was pulling a Forest Gump and running as fast as I could the other way.
To make things worse, I did not like working on cars or sports. I could not stand to get my hands dirty. A trait I still carry to this day. Though I do get dirty when I have to. I dont like it, but there are just things you do when you are married, and when you are older, that you just have to do, like it or not.
Well, especially in a kids world, things are pretty black and white. 1 + 1 always = 2 and so forth. I was a kid that did not like girls, didnt like sports and didnt like working on cars. So that equaled gay. As a result of the school wide rumor mill, I was labeled gay and every gay person in the school hit on me.
I was not attracted to men at all, so I just withdrew. It was not until well into my 20's that I developed a good desire for girls and got my 1st kiss. So what in the world does this have to do with Avoidants? Well, leme tell ya.
Most Gays and Lesbians look at themselves as having no choice. In the Church, we look at these people and think they should get get over it. They look at it like something they have no control over. Connecting the dots yet? We look at our Avoidants like something we have no choice over. We want desperately to just Get Over It, but it just dont work that way.
People that have this Avoidant thing wreck marriages, lives and of course themselves. Its not pretty at all. So maybe we are not that far different as we in the Church think we are.
Gays and Lesbians feel that they are who they are and there is nothing they can do about it. We that suffer from Avoidance are the way we are and there seems to be nothing we can do about it. So lets all get along and accept each other.
This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.
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