Avoiding Life

I have been working on my book on Avoidants for a while now. I was in Church on Sunday and this name came to me. I think its simple enough and explains what I want to talk about.

I am writing this book because its needed. There just are not any books out there that are for Avoidants that are written by actual Avoidants. Most all the books I have seen are boring descriptions that are written by Psychiatrists and other professionals that have never lived Avoidnace.

They can only talk about their experience dealing with Avoidants and other things that they have learned from books. I am planning on having a good part of the book devoted to being in a relationship with an Avoidant. Either yourself being the Avoidant, or the other person.

This is by far what I get the most emails on. I am married to what I call a Normal. Normal meaning that she is not an Avoidant. Marriage is hard enough as it is. A relationship between a normal an an Avoidant is....well, in the words of Agent K from "The Men in Black"; "that's double tuff".

Its not impossible by any means, but it is hard. If you are in a relationship with an Avoidant and think that everything is Hunky Dorey, be careful. I am not saying that its not possible for everything to be running smoothly, but it requires a lot of work.

Often in these relationships, the Avoidant is the last to know something is wrong. This can build up until its too late and the relationship ends. Often the Avoidant goes his, or her way scratching their head in disbelief. My advice for any marriage, but especially for the Avoidant marriage, is eternal vigilance and be proactive.

Don't wait until the relationship is on the rocks. If you want your relationship to make it, talk things out. Avoidants avoid. We keep things inside until they blow up like one of those old fashioned tea kettles that blow steam and whistle when the water is ready.

Just like those Idiot Lights on cars, if you wait until that other person tells you that something is wrong, it might already be too late. That was not what I originally had planed on saying today, but it must be needed. If you have a story, or a question, or a thought, I would love to hear from you.

I wont use anything you send to me in the book without your permission.

Well, I had better go.

Go with God and go without the Avoidant!

Phillip






This is my log of my issues with living to Avoidant Personality Disorder. My hope is that in writing this, it will help myself and perhaps others that are also struggling with this disorder and others like it. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1tyKSgW-IeaK851gvIjjthije0kOwg3tZxVqKXSC1xXg/viewform I am trying to get more information on this disorder so that we can find commonalities. Perhaps if we can learn more about this, we can figure out how to combat it and get better lives for us all.